Quotes

Top 10 Wine quotes – cause sometimes you just need a glass and a giggle

Quotes Naomi

Living in the south of France I’ve acquired a taste for all things wine…. its such a part of french life, wine with lunch, apero, dinner… and wine tasting festivals. Here are my favorite wine quotes… cause sometimes a mother’s life calls for a bit of humour… and alcohol 🤔 :

1. Stress reducing… yoga

''To reduce stress I do yoga... Just Kidding. I drink wine in my yoga pants''
”To reduce stress I do yoga… Just Kidding. I drink wine in my yoga pants”

Anyone else would love to live in yoga pants? There’s just something about them that makes you feel comfortable, and adding a glass of wine just adds to the whole experience 🙃

2. A letter to… wine 😋

 

 

 

"dear wine, we had a deal. you were supposed to make me funnier, sexier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video... we need to talk ''
“dear wine, we had a deal. you were supposed to make me funnier, sexier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video… we need to talk ”

Oh to go back to our youth when mobile phones didn’t exist… where we were free to make mistakes, do stupid things and… not have any proof….

3. Who’s up for a drink?

”Procrastidrinking – the art of drinking instead of doing something else you should be doing”    

Forget all your troubles… and spend quality time hanging out with grapes…. fermented grapes that is 😉

4. Doctor’s orders

"My doctor says I need glasses.... [wine glasses]''
“My doctor says I need glasses…. [wine glasses]”
It’s no longer an apple a day…. a bottle a day?? It’s fruit right? 🙃

5. Life is meant to be lived!!

''Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly worn out and screaming ''Woohoo, What a ride'' ''
”Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly worn out and screaming ”Woohoo, What a ride” ”

This is my favourite quote, it always brings a smile to my face 😀 Totally agree, don’t wait, live life, have plenty of crazy experiences.

6. My good deed for the day

''I just rescued some wine, it was trapped in a bottle''
”I just rescued some wine, it was trapped in a bottle”

”Help” screamed the wine…. it needed fresh air 😉

7. It fixes everything!

''Wine is like Duct tape, it fixes everything''
”Wine is like Duct tape, it fixes everything”

A quality toolbox always had duct tape handy…. and wine.

8. Not just for kids

''Mum's Fidget Spinner''
”Mum’s Fidget Spinner”

 

Mum’s can get in on the latest craze too 🤘

9. Anyone up for a dance competition?

''I drank so much wine last night, when I walked across the dance floor to get another glass, I won the Dance Competition''
”I drank so much wine last night, when I walked across the dance floor to get another glass, I won the Dance Competition”

This just makes me giggle…. funny how a few drinks and we break out all sorts of new moves!!

10. Who’s up for some fruit salad?

''I’m having fruit salad for dinner, ok it’s mainly grapes, ok all grapes, fermented grapes,I’m having wine for dinner''
”I’m having fruit salad for dinner, ok it’s mainly grapes, ok all grapes, fermented grapes,I’m having wine for dinner”

The age-old question, does wine count as fruit?

I hope you’ve had a good laugh… and squirm (remembering those embarrassing moments.. 😉)

Until next time… cheers!!!

 

 

kids drawing

Top 10 Funny Mum quotes – for moments you need to laugh

Quotes Naomi

There are days in any mother’s life that you’re not sure whether to laugh or cry, here are some quotes to get you giggling (and assure you that you are not alone) :

1. Fake mad

The Hardest part of parenting is trying to be fake mad when your kid does something bad but hilarious
”The Hardest part of parenting is trying to be fake mad when your kid does something bad but hilarious”

Yep happens all the time!! I have to 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and try to put on my best mum voice all the while trying not to smile, or even worse, laugh out loud! And then there are times that I can’t control it and my kids end of crying cause I’m ”making fun of them” 😋

2.  Where’s the chocolate?

Becaue I am an awesome parent. I'm currently helping my kids search for their chocolate that I ate last night.
”Because I am an awesome parent. I’m currently helping my kids search for their chocolate that I ate last night.”

Anyone else eagerly await halloween and easter to binge on the kid’s lollies? Especially after they’ve gone to bed 😂

3.  Why wasn’t I invited?

''Having kids is like continually having to clean up after a party you didn't attend''
”Having kids is like continually having to clean up after a party you didn’t attend”

Yep often have this feeling… anyone else just shut the playroom doors and hope it cleans itself up? Or that no-one notices 🤔

4. Damm I made a mini-me!

”That moment when you catch yourself feeling frustrated with your child… for being just like you ”

Karma at its finest!! 🙃

5. Break out!

''Forget dancing like no one is watching. Dance like a toddler, they don't even care if there's music!''
”Forget dancing like no one is watching. Dance like a toddler, they don’t even care if there’s music!”

Confession : I often put teeny-bopper music on and dance round the house when I’m by myself, singing at the top of my lungs, poor neighbours!! 🤘

6. They’re at it again!

''Silence is golden... unless you have kids, then silence is just suspicious!''
”Silence is golden… unless you have kids, then silence is just suspicious!”

Ah to go back to those blissful years before the arrival of the munchkins… 🙄

7. Pay back time!

''Yes, I'm vacuuming and singing while the kids try and watch a movie. They need to learn that it sucks to have quiet time interrupted''
”Yes, I’m vacuuming and singing while the kids try and watch a movie. They need to learn that it sucks to have quiet time interrupted”

Being there, done that… can confirm that they don’t appreciate it ! 😇🤪

8. Kids for sale??

''Parenthood is wanting to be with your kids forever one minute, and being tempted to sell them the next''
”Parenthood is wanting to be with your kids forever one minute, and being tempted to sell them the next”

Can you relate to this one?

9. Mum voice

''When your ''Mum voice'' is so loud that even your neighbours brush their teeth and get dressed''
”When your ”Mum voice” is so loud that even your neighbours brush their teeth and get dressed”

Why is it that the only way to get your kids to listen is to become a raving lunatic? 🤔

10. What is that?

Licked a dark smear off my finger and then thought, ”Phew it’s chocolate”

Ok ok, I know… this one’ll make you cringe before you laugh… but a mum’s life is not quite complete without some sort of potty humour. I never expected to have so many conversations about toilet habits as I do now as a mum.

Keep calm… they’re almost in bed! 🤪